Saturday, January 31, 2015

Hubby to the rescue!

So as most mother would secretly admit, bathroom time is one other most coveted chunks of time. It's a time of relief, relaxation and secret Facebook staking!
Over the past week I have had two that stick out that I must share. Before you go assume that it has to do what you think it does, it doesn't! 
Last weekend I was running around with the boys doing errands and burning off energy at my favorite store while buying all of my new bedroom stuff at Tarjay (I ♡ the Bullseye!) Always a grand adventure in and of itself.  This one was at usual epic proportion with shelf clearing temper tantrums and embarrassing displays of need to conquer the cart. I had noticed before leaving that I needed to pee but the kids and car wear packed and my helper of the day was "Pa" {my awesome dad}. So I of course know that holding it in is horrible for you but I say to myself, "suck it up, you're a mom".
Skipping to us returning home 2.5 hours later and me sweating because I have been using so many muscles to resist the flood. I decided to use the bathroom on the new side of the compound while my kids played with Grandma.  I did my thing and washed my hands and it was then I realized that no one had ever shut the door to use this bathroom before now...
I was stuck I mean reallllllly stuck. I of course yell for a credit card and a screw driver to be slipped under the door. My husband rushes to my aid thinking the he can heave his body weight at it like Gibbs in NCIS and it will bust open all official like...not the case. Not even in the slightest!  So I quickly dissemble the knob to discover that it is defective and I am stuck. I start to panic slightly and decided to pop the hinges and rip the SOB right off. the frame! It was the most dramatic feeling as I quickly exited to freedom that I started to burst into tears and laughter as I exited feeling relived and victorious!
BUTTT little did I know that I need to develop a phobia of bathrooms until this morning!  Today is Beerfest day which means that it is the holy grail of days for husband -- like he starts his inviting process in October each year! So today is the day that him and his buds go and get intoxicated and return home to veg and sober up. I of course help to nurse them back to this state and then send them home to their loving wives.
So to prepare for this shindig I clean like crazy and then jump in the shower to make it appear like I haven't been sweating my ass off in an attempt to make my house look like it's not lived in. So as I am ending my relaxing shower I turn off the water and proceed to open the shower door as I do daily and....
It won't open! Like really won't open! Like I am stuck, AGAIN! Seriously stuck! I start screaming for my husband who burst in the door expecting to make a funny a joke about me being indisposed and finds me laughing hysterically and stuck, again! He assists me in breaking out and disassembling the shower in the process.
I have come to the conclusion that God wants me to spend more time alone or I need to work on my she Hulk skills so when I am faced with this situation again I don't have to call for my husband to rescue me....because what if he isn't home...that will be the most uncomfortable 911 call ever!

No comments:

Post a Comment