Saturday, January 31, 2015

Parenting the Gtwins can be a Slippery Slope

We have been a house full of sickness this month which means this momma has been doing everything possible to keep it clean and clear of germs. This morning while playing in the toy room and mommy is on the phone talking to my wonder twin.... O decided he was all done and proceeded to walk up stairs.  Not knowing where he was going I yelled up to my husband, who immediately yelled back "got him" which in our house means: I am stopping what I am doing immediately and will be following him as soon as I can catch up to him. J decides immediately he too is "all done" and up the stairs we go. As I am walking up I can see O at a dead run rip the child proofed door handle off our bedroom and whip the door open. My husband is now walking fast to intercept, J is now also darting for the forbidden realm, so I say "never mind, I got them." My husband returns to the kitchen and I enter my room (mind you this exchange was all of 15 seconds). I walk into the smell of furniture polish to discover O gingerly spraying it on my bedding,  hardwoods,  furniture , wall and of course himself. I now scream to my husband who comes running and starts cleaning it up. (The can was located on the top of our tall boy dresser) I immediately whip off O's clothes in my bathroom and plan to jump in the shower with him (most people would call poison control...however...J already tested this same scenario last week when he broke into the pantry and sprayed himself with it. So I already knew what to do!) So while in the bathroom with twins I decide family shower cause I have to be at a baby shower in less then 45 mins and I need to occupy 2 year olds long enough for hubs to clean our now squeaky clean floors.
I immediately strip down O and pre-wash his face and give him a car to play with (leaving his diaper on) and then turn to J and strip him down quickly and remove diaper. As I swing around to O spraying contact solution everywhere I see J peeing on the floor . As I am prying the contact solution from O, I quickly say to J "we go pee pee on the potty" as I am finishing the struggle with O to get the new water gun our of his hand J runs towards the potty and slips (in the pee, contact solution and furniture polish trifecta) falls face first into it smashing his eye! Now adding blood to the mix I scream for my husband who comes running it, catches his fall thankfully and helping me rush the boys into the shower with me (clean up on isle 3!!!). While in the shower the boys are sliding all over like they are are the coolest 3 ft by 3 ft water park in the world! Hubs finish with mess 2 just in time to grab 1 of 2 slimy toddlers and breathe a sigh as we get all in order for me to leave for the shower.
(Insert normal chaos to get out the door here)
I as I am kissing the hubs good bye I see as mini blonde streak come racing for my bedroom direction into the kitchen with THE FURNITURE POLISH! Again spraying it everywhere!!!!
(I would like to take this moment to thank Swifter Gain scent furniture Polish for making their bottle look so amazing that both of my boys will scale a 55 inch tall boy dresser and risk their little lives just to get one good spray!)
I of course an now late and get the wave of: just go, I got this....
My only regret of the day is not being able to Snapchat the moment when my 6' 3" husband when flying up in the air as he rounded the freshly "polished" linoleum
corner in pursuit of catching our twins in a rousing game of tag just a mere 30 mins later!
Stayed tuned for more real moments of raising the #Gmonsters!

And remember kids...Parenting is sometimes a slippery slope!

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