Thursday, June 25, 2015

#TBT: A scary good time at the grocery store

This is a story that I shared with my favorite twin mommy group last October. My trunk is already filled with crazy Halloween things so I thought I would go a little #TBT.

***I didn't share this originally for fear that CPS will show up on my doorstep. ***No one was harmed!

It was a crisp Autumn evening and my family was in haunt mode...aka survival mode!
I had just worked all day and returned home to my beautiful boys. The joy usually gives me crazy ideas like taking both kids to the grocery store...alone! I of course pick my favorite store (where 95% of the store knows us) and we will enjoy dinner together there...

 So this adventure starts off with me carrying both boys to each entrance ISO of a double seated cart... When I finally spot a person with one kid in one leaving -- pet peeve BTW...I get that your singleton thinks that cart is fun but my kids want nothing to do with the store unless they are sitting next to each other! So...I proceed to literally chase them to their car to claim the cart. We then proceed to pick out 2 meals at the quick dinner sptot and get asked a million questions about twins and if the eat the same foods... Blah blah blah... We settle in at a table and the boys are doing great until J asks for water. I leave them at the table for a second with the cashier who I know and run like a mad women and get two glasses filling them just a little ....but just enough for O to dump it everywhere... eh, whatever... I give him napkins and he enjoys cleaning it up. We finished eating and I quickly clean the table and we are off on our beloved journey to produce land.... Where my boys scream because they want to eat the bananas, apples, grapes, blueberries, carrots and every other fruit and vegetable in the cart. After they settle in we are off to the meat aisle and I think "ok smooth sailing from now on"...
Well I run into a friend and proceed to quickly talk to her and her husband when I no sooner look over to see O chucking balls of twain from an end cap and J  has successfully opened the 1lb carton of blue berries and dumped them along with the bag of grapes. Not to fear, helping hands to the rescue! I am inappropriately laughing but still attempt to finish my shopping and go to the cereal aisle to grab the latest obsession of cheerios before scooting over to the frozen aisle. Whilst I am buried butt deep in the freezer battling to find the veggie Chix n' nuggets -- I hear, before I see, the box of cheerios flood the floor.... At this point I can't stop laughing...of course the same helping hands kids comes to our rescue. Now the pressure is on to get home!  I quickly scoot to the check out where we manage to only knock down the battery display and clear the gum rack (guess they will remember to open the extended aisle next time).
So I check out and celebrate that the boys didn't set the place on fire and am greeted by our new helping hands friends who assumes that I will need some help loading the car.  At this point I was pretty sure he was just doing damage control!
We made small talk to the car where he innocently states that he hopes I will have help when I get home and I of course response with that I have my husband  pretty well trained and I am sure he will be at the door ready to unload when I get there....just then, I fling open my trunk to reveal.... A trunk with a stack of bloody sheets, a rusted axe with fake but very real looking blood, two really scary masks and a wig......I thought the kid was going to faint!
I tried to explain the whole haunted house thing but I am pretty sure he stopped listening at that point!
Sooooooooo I am pretty sure it's time to find a new grocery store!

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